I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize