new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize