I wish I could punch you in the face.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
