He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
