yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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