When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
