i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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