My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
