Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
