dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
