goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
