is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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