you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
