someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
