I want to have your abortion
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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