it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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