Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
