Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
