He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
