I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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