Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize