I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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