What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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