3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You're like the curious george of whores
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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