She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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