Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All the doctor said was why
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
