i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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