ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize