My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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