i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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