Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
