i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jerry, you need to find god
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
