Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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