How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
