I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
