I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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