So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
