it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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