I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
