yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
