you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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