can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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