Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
