i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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