I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
