I can text with my tongue
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
