I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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