im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
