he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
