Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
