Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
