Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
