I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
