This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
