u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was