your parents love me but you hate me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Small penises have feelings too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
