plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize