My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
