this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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