well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
