i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were trust falling into bushes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
