you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize