Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
