I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
