Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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