these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you would pick up someone in the library
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
