They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize